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What The World Needs Now
After the events at Exmoor, you’ll need to prove that peace talks can occur safely. But in the apocalypse, is there suchs thing as safety? Cast * Jody Marsh * Paula Cohen * Sam Yao * Peter Lynne * Colonel Sage * Psychoanalyst Plot Psychoanalysts Enclave In preparation for peace conferences to be held at Banktown, you, Paula, Peter and Jody are to carry out drills to prove the oil rig’s safety procedures are airtight. Surprise As you evacuate the main conference chamber, Jody, Peter and Paula discuss Amelia’s ambitions. Hearing zombies, you flee. Raaaar Sam reveals the zombie noises you hear are actually people pretending to be zombies, employed to make the evacuation drill more effective. One of the fake zombies catches up to you and “bites” Paula, who now must play zombie. Last Rider After escaping the fake zombies, you get a look at the conditions people live in here. Peter ruminates on Sage’s philosophy of leadership. As you leave the accomodation, you see a group of people dressed like engineers, one of whom pushes another into the ocean. Sam gets a report that one of them was a Last Rider and is taking her pill. You rush to the rescue. Boom The evacuation is complete, other than the people stuck on the engineering block roof with the newly-turned zombie Last Rider. Peter has an idea to rescue them - Five and Jody will run along the boom of a crane as he moves it into position. Slide You arrive on the roof to discover this was also part of the test - and now you’re going to get “bitten” by fake zombies and will fail the safety evaluation. Peter finds an escape route for you and you take it. At Last Landing on the beach, you successfully complete the safety evaluation. Colonel Sage thanks you and the peace conference can go ahead as planned. S07E35 // Rofflenet Discussion regarding this mission can be found on Rofflenet Transcript JODY MARSH: I still can’t believe anyone would do that with V-type blood, you know what I mean, Five? The pills are bad enough, but V-type pills? What’s wrong with them? PAULA COHEN: At least all the children survived. JODY MARSH: Where’s the horde now, though? PETER LYNNE: Heading north, towards us. They destroyed Marlow Castle and the Alexandra Colony. It’s the biggest V-type horde there’s ever been. SAM YAO: Yeah, because nobody’s ever been stupid enough to make pills with V-type blood before. JODY MARSH: Did we find the guy? PAULA COHEN: The man in the red cap Five caught? Missing, presumed V-type. We can’t know for certain he was a Last Rider. Suicide attacks breed copycats. SAM YAO: We have to get back into the fungus farm where we found the accelerant, Five. That stuff must have been how they made the pills, but it’s taking some time. And this conference is important. Sage wants me to run the briefing again. PETER LYNNE: It’s one of his things. Repetition until your brain gets sick of it, but you’ll always remember it. SAM YAO: All right, then. Mission briefing. After what happened to Exmoor, we desperately need to unite the factions across the UK. Sage is the obvious contender now. He’s a leader everyone can live with. PETER LYNNE: He’s more than that, Sam. Anyway, I think he only wants to be interim battle coordinator. PAULA COHEN: Ah. Caesar refusing the crown. PETER LYNNE: Look, someone has to run this. We have to work together, but the faction leaders are all terrified that they’ll be stuck here if - JODY MARSH: If someone doses the champagne. SAM YAO: Or anything else. Yeah. So that’s why we’re running this exercise. We need to prove the emergency procedures are airtight. When the whistle goes, you’ve got 25 minutes to get everyone off the rig. We’re being observed by people from Wales, Cornwall, and – oh. From the Hebrides. Sage’s team are throwing in surprises, apparently. So that’s fun. PETER LYNN: It’s for the Psychoanalysts Enclave. They’re being really resistant. Sage thinks they don’t want to join the coalition at all, and they’re using safety fears as an excuse. Mind games, basically. Which, to be fair, is their job. So we have to get this right. If people don’t come, chaos will just keep rising and rising and rising… PAULA COHEN: And we all go the way of Marlow and Alexandra. sounds SAM YAO: That’s it. Head up the staircase to your left to level 2. Go, run. JODY MARSH: How are we doing for time, Sam? SAM YAO: Okay, you’re still on schedule. You need to evac the delegates from the main conference room, which… it looks like you’ve just reached. JODY MARSH: Wow, this is really beautiful. It must be the size of a cathedral. All polished metal. It’s so bright. PETER LYNNE: They store the oil in here. It has to be polished to stop impurities getting into the supply. That’s it, ladies and gentlemen. Just uh, head for the lift. Uh, Five, can you hold the doors open for them? dings, door creaks open PAULA COHEN: How do you know about oil rigs? PETER LYNNE: Sage just thinks that everyone should learn as much as they can about the affordances of the world, and how things work. It can save a life. SAM YAO: Yep, that’s true. Four people at Exmoor survived by hiding under the manure, breathing through straws for two days. Masked the smell. JODY MARSH: Did you know New Canton’s coming to this peace conference? Amelia, working together with other humans. PAULA COHEN: She’s probably just trying to angle her way to being leader of the UK. JODY MARSH: laughs Can you imagine? Amelia Spens, prime minister? To be fair, she’d be good at knifing people in the back. Have you heard anything from her about it, Peter? PETER LYNNE: I try not to spend time with her. She’s not good for me. moan PAULA COHEN: Just a sec, we’ve got guests. SAM YAO: That’s a more dangerous surprise than I was expecting. Can’t be V-types, but don’t take chances. Guys, your next job is evacuating the accommodation block eight levels up. Get away from those zoms. Run! JODY MARSH: I can’t believe they used actual zombies in this exercise. I mean, I know we have the cure, but still. SAM YAO: Actually, I didn’t want to say because you were making really good time, but I think they’re just people dressed up as zombies. JODY MARSH: Bloody hell, Sam, you could have told us! PETER LYNNE: We have to behave as if they’re real, Jody. If we relax, we won’t make our time target and the Psychoanalysts will get the excuse that they want. JODY MARSH: I get it. I’m not slowing down. I had a nightmare last night about the V-type horde. Haven’t had a zombie nightmare in years. They’re just part of the furniture now, you know? But the V-types… PAULA COHEN: Yeah, I’ve had those dreams. Janine says the horde is doing that organized thing the other V-type horde. Marching in columns, attacking at once from all sides. FAKE ZOMBIE: Argh! JODY MARSH: Oh God, you scared us! Do you have to roar like zombies, too? FAKE ZOMBIE: We’re real zombies! And you’re really confronting us. We’re biting one of you now. Look. Chomp. PAULA COHEN: Ow! You bit me. FAKE ZOMBIE: Ah, that’s what we do. Now you’re a zombie, too. Have a badge. PAULA COHEN: Now I’m a zombie. FAKE ZOMBIE: Are you not familiar with the setup of a zombie apocalypse? Did you just get out of a submarine? Oh God. Sorry. You didn’t just come out of the Undaunted, did you? PAULA COHEN: No, I – I just… feelings. Nevermind. All right, I’m a zombie, too. Rawr. PETER LYNNE: Am I the only person taking this seriously? FAKE ZOMBIE: Relax. We all know Abel could do an evac with their hands tied behind their backs, but if you insist – now we’re chasing the rest of you! Run! JODY MARSH: Come on, ladies and gentlemen, quickly! The zombies are outside the door, and it’s only fastened with a chain. Look, their arms are reaching through already! FAKE ZOMBIE: Roar! We want to eat you! PAULA COHEN: I don’t know if zombies want to eat you, exactly. It’s more like you want to bite, and your jaw just starts working by itself. I wish I didn’t know that. FAKE ZOMBIE: Because I’m a zombie, I have no curiosity, so I’m not asking. PAULA COHEN: Oh, that’s kind. Roar, roar. PETER LYNNE: Five, check the rooms down the left side of the corridor. Jody, check the right. I’ll guard this door. JODY MARSH: I never expected accommodation on an oil rig to be this nice. Did you, Five? It’s actually lovely. Fresh colors, big sofas. Good communal kitchens. Oh, uh, rooms 1 to 9 are clear, by the way. PETER LYNNE: Well, you can’t expect people to work well together when they’re living in squalor. A tidy room comes before any other accomplishments. JODY MARSH: I don’t know. We managed plenty of accomplishments at Abel from a set of shacks held together by string. PETER LYNNE: Well, not everyone’s like us. You know, for most people, a bit of discipline is a good thing. You know, I’ve been working on fitness programs for Sage, and the key is little and often. Lots of people see a difference from my routines. SAM YAO: I get that. It’s the best thing, to feel like you’re needed. Useful. Right, you cleared that level. 115 people out in three minutes! Good work. Head out towards the propellers now to get the last group from the engine rooms. opens JODY MARSH: That propeller is enormous! Like a massive curved wall. SAM YAO: Oh crap. Look up and to the left. Green engineering block. There’s people up there on the roof. PETER LYNNE: I see a group of people on one side huddled together dressed like delegates, and um, on the other side, four people in engineer’s uniforms – oh. Oh God. Sam, one of them pushed another into the ocean. JODY MARSH: She just fell. SAM YAO: Yeah. They’re reporting they were infiltrated. One of them was a Last Rider. She’s taking a pill. JODY MARSH: We’ve got to get those people off that roof. Five, Peter, with me. Let’s go now. SAM YAO: Final evac is almost completed, apart from – apart from those guys on the engineering block roof. JODY MARSH: Look, she’s gone full zom. The others are trying to hold her back, but they’ll get bitten. PETER LYNNE: I’ve got an idea. Sage has had me learning about the machinery on this rig. I can work this crane, move the boom so that it’s next to the engineering building. JODY MARSH: And what, swat the zombie off? PETER LYNNE: No, you and Five run along the crane and jump onto the roof. JODY MARSH: It could work. Five, let’s go. JODY MARSH: Go on, Five. You can do it. Jump! SAM YAO: Now you, Jody. JODY MARSH: All right! Jumping now! Where’s that Last Rider zombie. Wait. Where did the people go? PSYCHOANALYST: claps Ah, that was brilliant work. Incredibly heroic. Unfortunately, everyone up here is dead now. JODY MARSH: Hang on a minute. This was also a test. What’s it supposed to prove? What about that woman who fell into the sea? PSYCHOANALYST: Oh, she’s fine. Lifejacket. Raft waiting for her. The point is, you fell for the trick, and that means we can’t rely on you. JODY MARSH: Oh, I see. You’re from the Psychoanalysts Enclave. PSYCHOANALYST: And now we’re going to bite you, and Abel’s going to fail its evac test. PETER LYNNE: No, they’re bloody not. Northwest corner, there’s an evac slide down to the beach. Get over there! PSYCHOANALYST: Wait, just a second. A real zombie wouldn’t have talked to you. JODY MARSH: That wasn’t our mistake, was it? That’s the problem with you lot. You’re all talk. Come on, Five. With me down the slide. SAM YAO: Oh, bloody hell. Those are actual zombies on the shoreline. Jody and Five, you can still make your time slot. The finish line’s just along the beach. Run! blows COLONEL SAGE: Abel Township runners, welcome. The rig is proven safe. The crew from the Hebrides were particularly impressed with the way you outwitted the Psychoanalysts. Thanks to you, they will now have to attend the conference or lose face in front of the rest. I’ll have those zombies on the beach dealt with tonight. You can bed down on the rig as honored guests before the conference. PETER LYNNE: Thank you, sir. We’re proud. JODY MARSH: I’ve sat in on some of those conferences for Janine, Colonel Sage. It still seems more bickering than anything else. COLONEL SAGE: Runner Four, it’s good to see you. I understand your concerns, but the fate of Exmoor has concentrated the minds of the country. Several factions who have never sat down with us before have agreed to unite under my leadership for now. We have several promising ideas for fighting the zombies to discuss. And I have another piece of good news. I’ve heard from Jones. We’re only a day or two from breaking through to the piece of the Edda. With Veronica’s help, we’ll soon have the V-type weapon we need. PETER LYNNE: We can win this thing at last. Category:Mission Category:Season Seven